Bec in the library

"I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library." — Jorge Luis Borges

Part C: stream of conciousness May 22, 2011

Filed under: ETL 401 : Topic 5 — becinthelibrary @ 4:11 am

I’ve just finished part C of this assignment after being totally roadblocked by my emotions. I feel I need to include this rambling post that wrote as I struggled to understand my own personal journey in this subject. My finished product is far more positive as I took the time to see where these feelings were coming from. Thankfully my dear friend (and administrator at my school) gave me the support – and the PERSPECTIVE I so desperately needed – to show me how I could move forward from my place of confusion.

Aspect C (750 words) A critical synthesis of your reflection on how your view of the role of the TL may have changed during the subject. Include examples from your blog and postings in the forum.

In my role as a library technician, I was acutely aware that my TL was always a in a million places at once, needed and valued by everyone but I rarely actually saw what he did with the students or staff. I made educated guesses based on how I used TLs when I was full time in the classroom.

I want it all to be done yesterday.

Whilst all the readings and even personal experience is telling me that changes in a school are Pantene-like in their evolution, i am frustrated and perplexed as to why basic – to me – IL things aren’t happening in the school.

if TLs are the centre of the school universe, why aren’t they??

is all the literature about the greatness of TLs just written by other TLs?

haven’t used the blog enough as a sounding board, just used it as a reflection or synthesis tool for the readings and modules. can’t go back and ‘write’ my journal entries like i did at uni the first time round, to make my reflections make more sense.

i’m struggling with this task because in so many ways i am still exactly where i started – full of knowledge and nowhere to make effective change, i can see the need but can’t do anything about it, type A personality red flag!! it’s not enough to simply learn it, i need to do it!

is there a metaphor that can help shape this rambling into something coherent and relevant?

how can i use this part of the assignment to show who i am as a learner, who I want to be as a TL? can i make a vodcast when attach the transcript to comply with the criteria? what would be the point, it’s just double the work.

i already do so much of the TL job, part of the shock of doing this course is wondering how a ‘normal’ TL is supposed to do everything they are supposed to when I do so much of it now and that is a full time job as it is.

I am a type A personality who needs action and solutions in order to be an effective, enthusiastic member of a successful educational team. I thrive on being empowered to make and sustain change, to push the envelope in the name of best practice. I have never enjoyed learning for learning’s sake; I am only ever interested in exploring new avenues, ideas and strategies when I can implement them in my practice immediately. I have no fear of failure when trialling new ventures, only a deeply rooted distrust of and disgust for, inaction and an inability to make decisions.

As with everything in my life, my journey started and continues with, an overriding sense of urgency. I want to do everything, learn everything, be everything right now.

i need to talk about this with someone. someone who knows.

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